I have A LOT to say about this topic. Toxic patriarchy hurts women. Honestly, it still hurts for me to write about this. It’s something I truly don’t want to be reminded of honestly. I have lost a lot of privilege due to patriarchy. I lost my access to my inheritance from my dad. I lost my ability to give sexual consent since the law doesn’t protect women from sexual harassment such as being touched without consent, being stalked, etc. I had to cut ties to members of my family, since they love to give me hard times just because I was born as a woman.
In Indonesia patriarchy rules, because men are weak and insecure. They depend so much on their privilege, and expect the women to oblige.
So, far this is the hardest topic I ever write on. It’s hard because it brings me back so much traumatic memories. Memories of being traumatized by the misogyny that I am born into. One thing for sure is that I won’t prolong the cycle of sexist abuse that I am in by becoming bitter, and becoming a self-hating woman. I am not a hater (not 100% lol). I know women who subconsciously unaware that they internalized the patriarchy system that they turn into a self-hating woman. For instance, my previous short lived boss. Who fired me because I am not ‘feminine’ enough to become an elementary teacher. Excuse me? I am a teacher, not a nanny. I love the kids in my class I just have my own way to express it. Her prejudice is base by my inability to lick her toxic ass. Another example of this self-hating woman is my own mother who tried to take my power by controlling every aspect of my life.
I am happy to say that I freed myself from the toxic patriarchy system. I have nothing against functioning patriarchy. If a woman wants to get married, and have children it’s completely fine as long as she wants it. But, to say that it’s the only, and ultimate choice for all woman. Now, that’s toxic. After all, this life is ours to choose, and take control. Who needs a living parasite in the form of a chauvinistic male/female?
It’s a desensitized culture, and society that I am living in, and I don’t feel like I belong here.